I’m going to say this plainly, because the holidays bring it out every year.
We have got to stop commenting on women’s bodies.
Not just the negative stuff.
Not just the obvious insults.
All of it.
“You look great!”
“Did you lose weight?”
“Wow, you look so different.”
“You look healthy.”
Most people mean well. I know that.
But intention doesn’t erase impact.
Because here’s the truth:
When you comment on someone’s body, you’re telling them you’ve been watching.
Weight Changes Are Not Small Talk
People gain weight for reasons you will never know.
People lose weight for reasons they don’t want to explain.
Stress. Illness. Medication. Grief. Hormones. Mental health. Aging. Recovery.
Sometimes joy. Sometimes survival.
And sometimes?
Nothing at all.
So when we say something—anything—we’re quietly asking for a story they may not want to tell.
The Mixed Messages Are Loud
We say we believe in body positivity.
We say health isn’t a look.
We say confidence matters more than size.
But let someone lose weight and suddenly:
- The compliments roll in
- The attention increases
- The validation gets louder
Let someone gain weight and suddenly:
- It’s awkward
- People avoid the topic
- Or worse—pretend it’s concern
That contradiction doesn’t go unnoticed.
Women feel it.
Girls absolutely feel it.
Even “Nice” Comments Can Hurt
Here’s something we don’t talk about enough:
When someone says,
“You look amazing—did you lose weight?”
What many women hear is:
- “You didn’t look amazing before.”
- “Your body is the most noticeable thing about you.”
- “Your value went up.”
And if that weight loss came from anxiety, illness, or grief?
That “compliment” can land like a punch to the gut.
We Also Need to Stop Pushing GLP-1 Conversations
This part matters.
We need to stop casually suggesting medications—especially GLP-1 drugs—as if they’re a lifestyle tip or holiday recommendation.
“Have you thought about the shots?”
“You’d do so well on it.”
“Everyone’s on it now.”
No.
That is a deeply personal medical decision.
It involves health history, side effects, access, finances, mental health, and long-term impact.
No one owes anyone an explanation for why they are—or are not—taking a medication.
Everyone gets to travel their own path.
Full stop.
For Women: Here’s How to Shut It Down (Without Explaining Yourself)
If you’re tired of the comments, the questions, or the weird avoidance, you’re allowed to protect your peace.
Some options—use what fits your energy that day:
Soft redirects
- “I’m feeling good, thanks. How are you?”
- “I’m just here to enjoy the holidays.”
- “I’d rather not talk about my body.”
Clear boundaries
- “I don’t discuss my weight.”
- “My body isn’t up for conversation.”
- “That’s not something I’m sharing.”
If someone brings up diets or meds
- “That’s between me and my doctor.”
- “I’m doing what’s right for me.”
- “I’m not open to advice on that.”
If people get awkward
- “You don’t need to tiptoe—I’m okay.”
- “I’m still me.”
You don’t have to be polite at the expense of your comfort.
You don’t owe anyone a smile for crossing a line.
Especially for the Girls Watching
Girls are always watching how we talk about bodies.
They learn:
- Bodies are public property
- Weight changes need explanations
- Approval is conditional
Or… they learn something better.
They learn boundaries.
They learn self-respect.
They learn they don’t owe anyone access to their body or their choices.
So Here’s the Holiday Ask
This season, let’s try something different.
Let’s:
- Ask how someone is, not how they look
- Compliment style, humor, kindness, energy
- Leave bodies—and medical decisions—out of it
Because confidence isn’t about shrinking, fixing, or optimizing yourself.
It’s about being allowed to exist—
without commentary.